Women of the world, your inexplicable nature continues to baffle me. Your emotional states have the sudden random unpredictablility of an excited gas molecule and your whims seem to have the logic and rationality of a bad acid trip. We men are far more simple creatures. We require only three things in order to lead fulfilling, bliss-filled lives: Beer, Boobs, and Sports (a.k.a. the Holy Trifecta). In fact, I'd be pretty damn happy with two out of the three. Hell, just one would still be pretty great. With this handy social comparison in mind, let's explore this week's reason why I'm contemplating a combination of class A drugs and Nicholas Sparks movies in order to get into your frame of mind.
 
I've been friends with a certain group of girls for almost a year now - you might remember them from previous posts as the Blonde, the Brunette, and the Redhead - but lately things have strated to get a little...complicated. I'm increaslingly finding myself starting to like (yes, as in schoolyard "like - like") the Brunette. We share a lot of similar interests, she's pretty, and (BONUS!) she's hinted at some feelings of reciprocation in the past. Also, she's just gotten out of a long-distance "it's complicated" style relationship, so I know there is opportunity brewing.  - Quick side note: But not until AFTER she's over the former relationship. She's still a good friend, and I'm not a complete knob. - While some of those flirty moments have been toned down recently (see: relationship troubles) we have been spending a lot more time between just the two of us. And then came the spanner in the works.
 
The Blonde. It may just be my ego, which if it were a type of dog, it would be an elephant - because I'm not good at subtlety (or metaphores, apparently). She's been coming over at night a lot lately and hanging out to watch TV, curling up close on the couch and doing a lot of giggling. We even went out for drinks once, where she did a LOT of inconspicuous flirting (hair twirling, practically sitting in my lap, etc). Which I really wouldn't mind, if it weren't for two things 1) I'm just not that into her, and 2) she's best friends with the girl I do like. Justifying #1, while she is cute, we just don't have much in common (other than a mutual admiration for me). Usually, I would encourage this form of behaviour regardless, until she got bored/fed up, because everyone enjoys this type of attention. I feel I must defend this action here, as I can hear women screaming in rage. You do it too! Free drinks from guys at a bar? Putting on a wee-bit too revealing dress even when you're just out "with the girls"? Yeah, I could go on for a while - you guys invented this game. However, I am most decidely NOT doing this in this case, due to point #2. Anything as sinister as holding hands or a hug that lingers a little too long will eventually get reported to the Brunette, and then I get to watch as all these friendships and potential relationships go up like the oil refinery built too close to the flamethrower factory. I'm convinced women have a near instantaneous way of relaying this information, which I'm working on developing for military communications.
 
Currently, my ingenious tactic is to sit back and wait. Midterms are coming up in a week, and I'll refine my plans after then. Until that time, I've still got beer, ice hockey, and late-night TV movies.