Pun fully intended here... I'm doing a double topic blog post, on both X and the X Factor... and my weekend in general really.

I'm currently sat watching the X Factor and feel in need of a bit of a rant about this year's talent offering.. I'm all for a bit of controversy and entertainment but I think this year I've either become a complete loser who gets irrationally enraged over people (which is highly likely) or they have some really ridiculous people taking part and I can't see why they are still in the competition.

Anyone who has been watching will know exactly which two contestants enrage me the most.. Wagner and Katie Waissel.. just a bit too much. I think Wagner is a great personality but I would never in a million years buy his album... As for Katie, I just can't handle her, she comes across extremely fake and it's always 'this is the real me'.... vom.

Double elimination tonight so here's hoping they both go and we'll be left with some good acts for the semi final.

To be honest I mainly watch X factor to watch the outfit wars between Danni and Cheryl, so far I'd say it's pretty equal and there haven't been any crazy fashion faux pas on either side.. but there is still time and I live in hope that a ridiculous outfit will crop up from somewhere.

Enough of that type of X Factor now.. More on X and his cryptic ways..

He's still being persistent that he has changed etc etc.. blah blah, same story - so I gave him a chance last week and invited him over for dinner, in my mind this was like a big flashing neon sign saying 'Last chance this way'... clearly he didn't see that and after saying yes on the phone, text me and said 'can we not do tonight, i'd rather be at my place'... I was livid. Fuming, very angry and to be honest a bit of an emotional wreck as I felt a little bit rejected (stupidly may I add as he had absolutely no idea why...)
It seems to X he didn't realise at all that it was a sign of a last chance and he thought it fine to blow me off and then text me later in the week to ask if I wanted a 'sleep over'.. I declined and gave him a full run down of exactly why I didn't want a sleep over and why I felt rubbish..

In my last post I said I was over him and I didn't want him.. and I feel myself going back on this as he breaks me down more and more.. but I definitely feel like it's got to be all or nothing if it goes anywhere as I can't keep going on this weird twisted together/not together relationship road hell... He's off on holiday for a couple of weeks soon so I guess I need to sort it before he goes... otherwise it will just keep going in this weird circle and I'll never get out of it!

I've rambled on a little too much now.. I'll leave you to your evenings and to ponder my mental state... I think it's definitely diminishing!

nwis x