dear-diary

NWIS revisited: I'd like to Keep in Touch

Thu, 12 May 2011 17:31:37 +0100

A blast from the past to make up for my lack of posting recently.. looking back on this time last year I found this beauty... Enjoy!

Hello Singletons!

I've been laying low for a while after my last couple of posts... licking my ego wounds and regrouping.. FYI things with the ex's bro went quiet as my conscience couldn't take it..

I have a new date story for your delight though so thought it was best to come out of blog hiding.

Last week I met up with a lovely guy for a drink in Plymouth.. I didn't have much free time so I met him before going on to meet some friends for drinks. First impressions weren't particularly groundbreaking but the wine, and the conversation soon started flowing and we seemed to be getting on quite well..

My friends then came and met me and when he didn't take his excuse to run for the hills and stayed I thought things may have been going well..

Turns out he didn't think so as despite kissing me goodbye when he left after an additional 2hours of our date he text me the next day and said he didn't 'feel anything between us' but he thought I was great and he'd really like to keep in touch... added with an 'I mean that'

Now.....

Why would I want to keep in touch with a guy that has had one date and decided he doesn't like me? hmmm... not being overwhelmed with reasons myself.

I deleted his number.. he's emailed me a couple of times since that but I'm not entirely sure why.. maybe the keeping in touch comment was sincere - but I don't have a lot to say to him so I'm happy to walk away from this one.

NWIS xx

Love Games.. courtesy of NWIS Guy

Tue, 05 Apr 2011 17:52:30 +0100

Women of the world, your inexplicable nature continues to baffle me. Your emotional states have the sudden random unpredictablility of an excited gas molecule and your whims seem to have the logic and rationality of a bad acid trip. We men are far more simple creatures. We require only three things in order to lead fulfilling, bliss-filled lives: Beer, Boobs, and Sports (a.k.a. the Holy Trifecta). In fact, I'd be pretty damn happy with two out of the three. Hell, just one would still be pretty great. With this handy social comparison in mind, let's explore this week's reason why I'm contemplating a combination of class A drugs and Nicholas Sparks movies in order to get into your frame of mind.

I've been friends with a certain group of girls for almost a year now - you might remember them from previous posts as the Blonde, the Brunette, and the Redhead - but lately things have strated to get a little...complicated. I'm increaslingly finding myself starting to like (yes, as in schoolyard "like - like") the Brunette. We share a lot of similar interests, she's pretty, and (BONUS!) she's hinted at some feelings of reciprocation in the past. Also, she's just gotten out of a long-distance "it's complicated" style relationship, so I know there is opportunity brewing. - Quick side note: But not until AFTER she's over the former relationship. She's still a good friend, and I'm not a complete knob. - While some of those flirty moments have been toned down recently (see: relationship troubles) we have been spending a lot more time between just the two of us. And then came the spanner in the works.

The Blonde. It may just be my ego, which if it were a type of dog, it would be an elephant - because I'm not good at subtlety (or metaphores, apparently). She's been coming over at night a lot lately and hanging out to watch TV, curling up close on the couch and doing a lot of giggling. We even went out for drinks once, where she did a LOT of inconspicuous flirting (hair twirling, practically sitting in my lap, etc). Which I really wouldn't mind, if it weren't for two things 1) I'm just not that into her, and 2) she's best friends with the girl I do like. Justifying #1, while she is cute, we just don't have much in common (other than a mutual admiration for me). Usually, I would encourage this form of behaviour regardless, until she got bored/fed up, because everyone enjoys this type of attention. I feel I must defend this action here, as I can hear women screaming in rage. You do it too! Free drinks from guys at a bar? Putting on a wee-bit too revealing dress even when you're just out "with the girls"? Yeah, I could go on for a while - you guys invented this game. However, I am most decidely NOT doing this in this case, due to point #2. Anything as sinister as holding hands or a hug that lingers a little too long will eventually get reported to the Brunette, and then I get to watch as all these friendships and potential relationships go up like the oil refinery built too close to the flamethrower factory. I'm convinced women have a near instantaneous way of relaying this information, which I'm working on developing for military communications.

Currently, my ingenious tactic is to sit back and wait. Midterms are coming up in a week, and I'll refine my plans after then. Until that time, I've still got beer, ice hockey, and late-night TV movies.

The Corey-Hart Hook up

Sun, 20 Feb 2011 20:28:01 +0100

Hello there, you lucky blog readers! Have I got a treat for you today. While I've been a little too busy with work of the past few weeks to post, I have still found plenty of time to continue my NWIS streak.

A couple of weeks ago, I had a Monday off for Martin Luther King Jr. Day, so I celebrated his life and the civil rights movement in the most fitting way possible - I went over to a friend's house and got drunk. After an all day drinking session, we went over to another friend's house for a party. I wasn't realy expecting to see anyone there apart from friends and people I already knew, so I decided to make a joke out of the whole night. I'd been wearing this pair of cheap sunglasses all day, so I just kept right on wearing them even though it was now approaching midnight. Little did I know that they would be the key to my success. Yup, I hooked up with a girl because she liked the sunglasses I was wearing. Indoors. AT 1 AM. Get the title now? I Wear My Sunglasses at Night. How is this an NWIS moment, I hear you ask? Well, the sunglasses seemed to be working so well, and I was feeling pretty good (read: drunk), that I refused to take them off - you know - during. Needless to say, I haven't that girl since. Which is probably a good thing as I can't really remember her name anyway.

NWIS guy

Steps into Grown-up dom

Sun, 06 Feb 2011 10:00:49 +0100

A very quick post for today, to update you all on the very exciting news that I am buying my very own place to live. Due to this I am consumed with Interior Decoration ideas rather than dating.

I am currently in the midst of a furniture buying haze, having purchased an ottoman (never thought I'd have one of those) and a small kitchen table, I am now progressing through to seating... DFS here I come.

The minute I buy a gravy boat or a doiley my life will be officially over.

NWIS x

NWIS revisited - V Day

Tue, 25 Jan 2011 22:59:32 +0100

With Valentine's Day 2011 fast approaching I found myself trawling through my blog posts to see how I was feeling this time last year.. and I have to admit I am slightly disappointed in myself for still being in EXACTLY the same situation..

It was Valentine's Day yesterday.. have to say, as a single person it's not my favourite time of year - but this one went quite well. Granted I had no cards, flowers or romantic gestures - but I did have a relatively nice day with my family. Spend it with those you love I thought.

I kind of hoped X might have picked up on the HUGE hints that I'd dropped, I mean they weren't exactly subtle.. I even said on Saturday 'what are you going to write in my Valentine's Card' - so it was fairly obvious I was looking for one. Good job I didn't hold my breath. Not so much as a happy valentine's text from him. All I got was a phone call at 10pm asking if I wanted to 'go over'.... No thank you..

And still when I told him I have a date this week he had the nerve to be jealous... I don't understand men.. 'I don't want you but I don't want you to want anyone else' just makes no sense!

I know I should get rid of him and move on.. but I'm strangely hooked. Almost like I'm waiting to see what weird thing he does next.

It's clear to me a year on that X is a law unto himself and despite my stand offish behaviour, cruelty and attempts at being strong he just won't go away..

That's not to say he doesn't have his uses.. I had a flat tyre at the weekend and he came to the rescue.. strange to see the small glimpses of a caring guy in there - quite off putting. Wonder if I'll get a card this year.. any bets?

NWIS x

nwis

NWIS revisited

Sat, 15 Jan 2011 00:28:15 +0100

I'm feeling slightly nostalgic and just looked through my posts from Feb 2010 and found this little gem..

X is a funny creature..

We met a while ago and had our first date a few months ago. He's not the most good looking guy you'll ever come across, but he's not ginger... which is a start. The main thing that drew me to him was that he made me laugh, and feel completely comfortable around him. We carried on seeing each other for quite a while, he introduced me to his friends, we saw each other a lot... and then suddenly he tells me we should just be friends - because he doesn't want a girlfriend.
I'd never even mentioned that I might want to be his girlfriend.. (the fact that the thought crossed my mind with alarming frequency is completely irrelevant... he's not a mind reader) so I thought that was that. He's just not that into me. We'll be friends.

Apparently by friends what he meant was 'lets carry on doing exactly what we are now without any of the responsibility to one another'. I'm not cool with that.

But still he hasn't quite disappeared yet.. I still find myself waking up next to him fairly frequently and wondering what the hell I'm doing with a guy who doesn't want any form of relationship with me.

We started being 'friends' in January - and this morning - a WHOLE MONTH later, I did the walk of shame back from his house to mine.. along with a torrent of verbal punishment from my sister down the phone. Think he's a habit I need to break.

nwis x

Nearly a year on and STILL in the same situation.. is the universe trying to tell me something or is it just my inability to stay strong?!

Kitty, Potty and the Cross Stitch issues..

Sat, 15 Jan 2011 00:04:28 +0100

A number of concerning issues regarding my mental health have come to light in the past couple of days... perhaps because I have spent a large proportion of my time sitting doing cross stitch whilst singing along to the Les Miserables sound track, or watching Miss Marple.. or perhaps because I've been spending a lot of time with my sister as it's been her birthday (happy birthday if you're reading this dear sister of mine).

The cross stitch is an issue that I'll get onto later.. firstly I think some revelations are in order as they have dawned on me in the past couple of days.

It seems that my word vomit originated at a very early age as during a conversation on past birthday parties I remembered an incident that was long buried under shame and humiliation and filed away to be forgotten... alas in the spring clean of my memories this gem has been unearthed. It seems that when I was 4 years old I told my sister and her then boyfriend that her boyfriend was Joseph and I was Mary and that my doll was the baby Jesus and we had to go to Bethlehem on my donkey (which was in fact a rocking horse with a blanket over it if I remember correctly)... this is all bad enough but when you take into consideration it was my sisters 13th birthday party and I probably mentally scarred this 13 year old boy it's slightly mortifying. I'd like to say I've grown out of these outbursts but having remembered it I'm quite tempted to use it as a chat up line to see what happens.. although I don't fancy lugging a rocking horse out with me to bars.. might look a bit odd.
Maybe just the 'I'm Mary and your Joseph.. take me to Bethlehem' would do.. I'm mortified and highly amused at the thought.. (NWIS Guy how about you try it out for me and see how it works.. swap it over though.. don't want to go and tell anyone that you're Mary.. they'll start to worry)

The second dawning realisation is that my sister and I are a bit nuts (not that this is a new revelation, just further confirmed by todays events) a while ago I gave my sister the nickname Kitty Le Noir after having a disagreement in the car and vaguely referencing the pot calling the kettle black adage.. anyway.. Kitty - as she will henceforth be known - has given me the delightful nickname of Potty Schwarz.. which makes me sound like a german shotputter. This is bad enough, but not only do we have names these names seem to have taken on their own personalities resulting in Kitty talking in what can only be described as a voice that sounds like a poor impersonation of the queen after having inhaled some helium.. As you can imagine this reduces me to tears of laughter and after a while we both get quite hysterical... if only we wouldn't do it in public - the stares are quite worrying. We 'went for afternoon tea today at a lovely hotel in Tavistock called Browns and it was fantastic - Kitty told me that she takes tea very well and would have made an excellent young lady in the day.. followed up with her saying 'which is exactly why I'm still single'...

Finally the Cross Stitch.. I got the Cath Kidston Stitch book for Christmas.. and I LOVE it. The only thing is that I have become slightly addicted to stitching and seem to have aged about 40 years in the process as I have been sitting doing nothing but watching period dramas or listening to show tunes and stitching whilst singing along like a crazy old spinster..

I'm going out tomorrow night, provided I can leave the cross stitch alone long enough to get ready, so there may still be hope for the survival of my social life!

NWIS xx

Angry Ranting

Tue, 11 Jan 2011 17:32:26 +0100

Well, I've just arrived back home after spending my Christmas holidays with my family. Not much opportunity to have any NWIS moments there, but a particular pet peeve of mine did come up: girls in public wearing lounge pants. My cousin recieved a pair for Christmas from my grandparents, and the first thing she said was how she couldn't wait to wear them around her university. I almost threw my scotch at her.

Lounge pants, pyjama bottoms, tracksuit bottoms, sweatpants - whatever you call them, they are most definately NOT acceptable attire. I understand that they are comfortable and warm. I understand that it's 8 am and below freezing. That does not mean it's OK to wear them outside of your house. It just screams "I don't ever care how I look, and you're not worth the effort for me to get dressed!" I won't lie - I have three pairs myself, but you will never see me wearing them in public. I get up an hour early in order to get properly dressed, for your viewing pleasure (have I mentioned that I consider myself a fairly attractive guy?). I'd appreciate a little something in return. Lounge pants make all you ladies look like a pregnant hippopotousi retaining water, no matter how attractive you might otherwise be. And don't even get my started on the lounge pants/old hoodie combo; every girl wearing that particular outfit looks like she has a severe case of the flu.

NWIS Guy

PS - NWIS Girl, PLEASE tell me this particular atrocity is confined to these degnerate United States.

Turn it off and on again...

Sun, 02 Jan 2011 11:19:54 +0100

I truly astound myself with some of the rubbish that I spout to men..
As you know it was new years eve recently and so I was out, having a good time with some friends, and my housemate.. against my better judgement I decided to start chatting to a guy that I recognised from work.

He was tall and alright looking and well... mainly he was single and I was drunk... so I started talking to him. When he told me he worked in the IT department (which I knew anyway) I told him I remembered that he'd asked to crawl under my desk before... (good start - mortification setting in)
Carried on chatting and it was going well, lots of flirting and kissing (I have currently earned myself the nickname of snoggy face.. which is delightful) Only problem is I seemed to have tourettes in the form of contsantly saying Control, Alt, Delete to him..

What is wrong with me? The IT Expert told me to try turning it off and on again... he succeeded with the first part..

New year, probably not a new start.

NWIS x

An introduction to NWIS guy

Thu, 16 Dec 2010 18:16:40 +0100

Lovely people out there I have convinced my male counterpart to enter my little blog world and share his equally awful stories with you all.

From this day forward you will get both the male and female perspective on blogs.. and he will no doubt counteract my posts and thoughts with those of his own. having bandied around various seudonym's for him we've settled on NWIS guy.. to keep it simple.. and because most of his were too offensive to use.

His bio will be up in the next few days and his first post very soon.. having heard some of his stories first hand I am sure you will enjoy them.

Happy reading!

Nwis xxx